Kash’s #CBR5 Review #18: Bossypants by Tina Fey

If I could give this 4.5 stars I would. I loved this book. I loved this book especially because I could imagine Tina reading it to me as we shared time over coffee and a cheese danish. But it was just so random. The topics of each chapter jumped so wildly that it seemed erratic. But I still fucking loved it.

So I’m just going to share some random quotes that I highlighted in hopes that you will go out and read this immediately if you haven’t already done so.

Maybe you bought this book because you love Sarah Palin and you want to find reasons to hate me. We’ve got that! I use all kinds of elitist words like “impervious” and “torpor”, and I think gay people are just as good at watching their kids play hockey as straight people.

Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

If you told Don Fey that you never go to Burger King, only McDonald’s, because you “grew up with the Hamburglar,” he would look at you like you were a moron.

(By the way, when Oprah Winfrey is suggesting you may have overextended yourself, you need to examine your fucking life.)

She talks about being a young Tina Fey, her dad, her work with The Second City in Chicago, SNL (duh), 30 Rock (super duh), Oprah, Sarah Palin, Lorne Michaels, her kid, a cruise, and more. It’s fun, it’s quick, and it will make you laugh. Or at least a little under the breath chuckle that I know everyone is capable of. You know, that little chortle you try to stifle when you don’t want to laugh but you have to admit it’s actually pretty funny? That’s the least you’ll get out of it.

Kash’s #CBR5 Review #17: The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

I’m making a sweeping generalization and assuming that everyone has read this, so I’m not including a synopsis.

Like many mainstream Americans, I rushed out to re-read the American classic to make sure I had a firm base with which to judge the film reboot. Only I’m going to be brutally honest here, I’m pretty sure I never read this book in high school like I was supposed to. As much as I love reading, especially now, I avoided assigned reading like Kirsten Dunst avoids a bra. So now I’ve finally read it, and I was underwhelmed.

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Kash’s #CBR5 Review #16: The Whole Package by Cynthia Ellingsen

I found this novel on my nightstand and had no idea how it had gotten there. On the inside cover it reads, “Hi Miss Amanda, To a fabulous young lady with a lovely Mama, I hope you have a blast reading… xoxo, Cynthia”. Then it hits me, my mom gave me this book a few years ago for my birthday, stuck inside of a purse. Raving about how she knows the author and what a sweetheart she is. My mom knows I don’t like chick lit, but having a signed copy is alright by me.

The Whole Package is a fun and sometimes funny story about three friends from high school who are near forty now. This is the kind of book where you can imagine the movie where at least one of the leads is played by Diane Keaton. Although she might be a little old, I totally see her in this. Anyway, each woman is different in your stereotypical ways. There is Cheryl, the driven and hard hitting marketing exec who sweeps the boys in the boardroom, the racquet ball court, and into her bedroom. She’s like Elizabeth Perkins in Big. And yes she has sex with a younger man. Then there’s Doris, who was once a soccer star. She got married young and swept up into the homemaker role. She’s a bad cook with a Xanax habit and an asshole of a daughter. Also, her husband is a pansy. Lastly is Jackie, the artist. She married an older man and after his death she squandered millions living the high life in Paris. She has returned to the States since her money is gone and she has yet to hold down a job.

After an impromptu night out, the girls hatch a plan to start up a male version of Hooters. Or would it be a female version? Either way, they want to have a restaurant where scantily clad men serve you meals. The rest is pretty predictable.

Spoilers.

People think it’s a stripclub, it gets out of hand, churches get pissed, and then basically everyone quits. Not the employees, the owners. Real mature ladies. So they revamp it based on the idea that women want more romance, and then conveniently it’s a huge hit and everyone wins. All of the ladies are reunited with the men they have been on and off with for the rest of the novel. Glitter rains from the ceiling. Hallelujah. Amen.

This isn’t a romance novel. There aren’t any steamy sex scenes filled with quivering members, but there are a few firm embraces and a plethora of seductive gazes. It’s very much chick lit. If you like it, you like it, if you don’t, then pass. For me it was something nice to read between the sometimes heavy and epic shit that I’ve been undertaking. I believe this is one of those things Cosmo calls a “beach read”.

Kash’s #CBR5 Review #15: A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness

I gathered, from the title, that this book would have something to do with witches. I don’t read blurbs, so I didn’t know there were vampires and daemons also, but there are. I’ve read a fair bit of literature dealing with vampires and the humans obsessed with them. I’m not proud of it, but I’ve always been drawn to supernatural stuff. I mean, I still watch Supernatural, even though it completely jumped the shark like, three seasons ago. But dude. C’mon.

So that being said, I’ve never sought out stories dealing with witches. I guess something about seeing The Craft in fifth grade scarred me for life. Regardless, I wasn’t sure how I would feel about this book, especially when vampires popped up and I have been making a concerned effort in avoiding vampires for a while. When I picked up this book on Saturday morning, I was pleasantly surprised. This appeared (hint: appeared) to be a book written about supernatural creatures, for adults, that wasn’t full of cliches or erotica disguised as a supernatural crime novel (thanks for nothing Anita Blake). I was wrong.

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Kash’s #CBR5 Review #14: Sugar in My Bowl: Real Women Write About Real Sex by Erica Jong

When I read about this book in an issue of Bust magazine, I was very excited. I bought it immediately but it took me at least a year to sit down and read it. The pretext of this collection of essays is about the best sex you’ve ever had. Whether fictional or non-fictional. Each author was asked to write about sex, and there were various various differences from author to author.

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Kash’s #CBR5 Review #13: Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

As I make my way through the Gillian Flynn catalogue, I can concede this piece is not nearly as disturbing as her first foray, Sharp Objects. Although immeasurably dark, this one doesn’t leave you with a sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Libby Day, the disturbed semi-adult leading lady fumbles along through her life. With no job or sense of purpose, she lives off of a fund compiled by charitable donations after three members of her family were murdered when she was seven years old. Her remaining brother in prison, after her testimony helped convict him, and her deadbeat dad living in the wind.

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Kash’s #CBR5 Review #12: Insurgent by Veronica Roth

Full disclosure: I don’t know how to talk about this book without potentially ruining important plot points from the first book, so spoiler alert.

Furthermore: I will admit that I have read all of the Twilight books. After the first one, I hated them, but I wanted to know what happened. This experience has tainted how I look at YA series. I fully expect them to go downhill after the first installment, but not as spectacularly terrible as Twilight.

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