“Tomorrow you’re all going to wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones, created in a stem-cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags. Where tax-and-spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio, and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh, and everybody’s high!”
I listened to the audiobook of I am America (And So Can You!), read by Colbert himself, at the gym. Therefore, I was the idiot laughing on the treadmill. It’s very, very funny, and Colbert reading it as his Colbert Report character just adds to that. He’s so serious and such an asshole and just cracked me up.
Colbert covers important topics like religion, race, parenting and work. My favorite section was his discussion of the importance of dominating animals in order to maintain our position at the top of the food chain. Of course, when he dominates his elderly pekingese into sitting, he has to rub the dog’s hips after due to its arthritis.
If you don’t like his shtick on Comedy Central, you won’t like this book, but if you do, it will make you laugh out loud for sure.