iamnothamlet’s #CBR5 Review #53: I Suck at Girls by Justin Halpern

In my review of Sh*t My Dad Says I talked about how Justin Halpern’s writing wasn’t all that interesting, but that the character of his dad Sam made the book a worthwhile read. I downloaded Halpern’s second effort to my Kindle because it was also just $1.99, and I hoped for more of the same. Unfortunately, I Suck at Girls is much more focused on the author’s life and thoughts, and he just isn’t compelling enough to sustain a book-length narrative.

Justin Halpern was a bit of a late bloomer when it came to the opposite sex, and this book chronicles his misadventures along the path to a happy marriage. Starting with an early crush derailed by an unfortunate illustration and working through such rites of passage as the introduction to pornography, the Senior Prom, losing his virginity, one night stands, and long-distance relationships, I Suck at Girls is a fairly tame account of one man’s romantic history. The oddest part of the exercise is that Halpern seems to think his stories are extremely unusual, whereas I’m sure most people have similarly embarrassing escapades to recount.

As in the earlier book, Mr. Halpern most loses his way when struggling to use descriptive language to emphasize his point. This guy couldn’t come up with an arresting simile to save his life.

Even for less than two dollars, this book isn’t worth the price.

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