The second book in the Night Huntress series contains easily the most unintentionally hilarious sex scene I’ve ever read, and that’s saying something considering the shit I’ve read. I’m going to put “the infamous Chapter 32″ under a cut in case anyone would rather experience the wonder of the scene for the first time in the author’s own words. Before I do that though, I’ll just quickly mention that the “plot” of this sequel was even flimsier and the conflicts even cheesier than the first, and that I didn’t really like this book much at all except that it made me laugh, so it wasn’t irredeemable. I’ll say with credit where it’s due to Frost that this series doesn’t take itself too seriously, so the only standard I’m really holding it to is that set by its predecessor in the series, and it does fall short of that. Anyway, onto the fun part:
Imagine that your man’s seductive, antagonistic ex is back on the scene for reasons various and assorted, and after a vicious physical fight with her, the best revenge you can think of is to demand that your man (“The boy is mine!” – Brandy and Monica) sex on you so fiercely and with no-holds-barred that the nasty ex will have no choice — what with her enhanced vampire hearing — but to hear every detailed aspect of your encounter. Now imagine that, if a vampire so chooses, his bite can deliver an astonishing local aphrodisiac-slash-sensory stimulator. Remember that widely circulated “true fact” that a pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes? Well, apparently that’s what happens to Cat when Bones bites her clitoris(!!). Not that she really remembers it, though, because rather than attempting to write a 30-minute orgasm, Frost has Cat come to her senses after a time, and Bones smugly informs her that during this nonstop orgasm they’ve already banged twice and had to turn the cops away more than once due to her continued screaming (how cruel to not be mentally cognizant of the best orgasm of your life! If an orgasm falls in the forest, and you’re not around to feel it, does it even matter if you made a sound?)
That’s not where the amazingness of this scene ends, though, because I’d never encountered buttsex in mainstream (by which I mostly mean heterosexual, non fanfiction) romance UNTIL THIS BOOK. Complete with the “what are you doing?” and all. I’m telling you, I laughed until I cried, and it’s not (at all) that buttsex as a concept is uniformly hilarious to me, but its depiction in this chapter DEFINITELY was. If there is some measure of maturity required to make it through this scene without giggling, I surely do not have it.
I won’t say that Chapter 32 made up for the rest of the book, because the rest of the book was pretty insipid, but that chapter alone is absolutely worth reading for the novelty. There is a lot of rough, kinky, and left-field sex in PNR but this was absolutely a unique experience.